Category Archives: confidence

If You Feel Like Giving Up

It happens to the best of us. It often starts with one setback. You pick yourself back up and try to move forward. Months pass and then years. You realize that you’re not where you want to be but you don’t know how to fix it. This could apply to your business, your career, or your life. I’m about to get real here, so brace yourself. It’s a serious message with a hopeful ending, so please read on.

Rising up from the ashes

As someone who has re-invented herself more times than I can count, I know you can bounce back. What you may not know is that things got so bad after my accident a few years ago, that I almost checked out.

No one knew of my struggle because I kept it a secret. I shared my story to a crowd of about 200 people at a suicide awareness event two weeks ago. My talk was called Three Questions You Need to Ask. Although I am not a mental health professional, these are questions I have asked over the years to teens and adults who appeared to be slipping into the abyss.

Imagine my surprise when, nine days later, I read on Facebook that a young woman I knew from one of my networking groups took her life. She had two forms of cancer. I prayed for her every day. We were just acquaintances. I hadn’t seen her in years but was following her cancer journey on Facebook. She had loads of spunk and she was so inspiring. I was thrilled that she was now in remission. I had no idea she was fighting a different kind of battle.

After I heard the news, the tune How to Save a Life by The Fray kept running through my head. This is not the most uplifting tune since the chorus says “Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,” but it said what I was feeling. I don’t want to lose any more friends to this.

Changing your tune

If you’re feeling stuck, you really can change your tune, both literally and figuratively:

1) Watch the words you’re using to describe your situation.
2) It’s ok to cry and it’s ok to grieve whatever or whoever you’ve lost.
3) Hold onto your faith and know that things will get better.
4) Read and listen to positive, inspiring things, including uplifting music. The new tunes by Christian artists For King and Country and Lauren Daigle are a good start.
5) Hang around positive people who will lift you up.

I bounced back because I made the decision to rise up and heal. I looked depression right in the eye and I fought back. Was it easy? Heck no! But thanks to drumming and Divine Intervention, I am now healed and whole.

If you sense that someone you know may be slipping down that rabbit hole, it helps to ask pointed questions like:
1) Are you ok? What’s going on?
2) How are you really doing?
3) Do you need to talk?

Moving Forward

You don’t have to stay stuck. If you’re feeling lost, hopeless, or frustrated, please reach out to someone! Don’t be embarrassed! Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness. If it’s a business or career issue, know that even coaches and MBA’s need help every once in a while.

If it’s a personal issue, please reach out to a friend, pastor, or counselor. Do not try to hide it or go it alone! If you know you’re in a really bad place, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The world needs you and what you have to offer! Don’t give up!

If you’d like to drum with me for clarity or healing, please let me know and we’ll set up a time (local or virtual). I am also a Stephen Minister. Sessions are confidential. We all need to remember to reach out to people and check in. It can make all the difference in the world.

Please feel free to leave a comment or share a positive tune that’s on your playlist!

Dori Staehle is the Chief Encouragement Officer and Rhythm Maker at Rock the Next Stage and Next Stage Drumming. She’s a drum therapist, drum teacher, and motivational speaker. She offers individual and group therapeutic drumming sessions (instruments provided) and often brings instruments to her talks. Dori is also the best-selling author of Find Your Divine Rhythm: A Creative’s Success Formula. To book Dori or set up a time to chat, click here.